Horseback Riding - Horse Riding Lesson

Dear Horse:

When I say "whoa" it means stop whatever you are doing and STAND STILL.

I notice you have no trouble whatsoever doing this when you are having a particularly vivid daydream or are trying to figure out where the sound of a snack wrapper is coming from. So, would it kill you to cease all forward, sideways, upward and/or backward movement for a few moments when I ask?

Be a sport.

And speaking of snacks, I am not a magician. There is NOT a candy factory in each of my sleeves and a carrot farm in each of my pockets. When they're gone, they're gone, and no amount of chewing on my clothes, hands and hair will generate more. Neither will pawing to China. But I hope you still like me, anyway.

The gate is easy for us both to go through, if we go through in the following order:
Me, the lead rope, your head, then your neck, then your shoulders, torso, butt and tail. Going through it is much harder if you do it in the following, incorrect order:
Your right side, your left sdie, pivoting, your head, the lead rope, me, you again, me again.

You DO know how the poopie got on your food. Quit looking at me like that.

Please understand that when I grab your mouth and yank it open and invite a person with a file to grind your teeth down ... when I douse you with a hose or run a strange, buzzing machine all over your body that makes your fur itchy and short just when you wanted it long and soft ... when I put a stupid mesh hat on you and spray you with chemicals ... this means "I love you".

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